I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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