yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
