Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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