Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
