I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize