just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
