Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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