He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
