Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
