Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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