You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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