Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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