i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
