He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
