we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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