names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
