a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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