He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
