The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
