Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
