i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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