No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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