everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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