Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize