sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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