I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
