Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
