Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
