She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Floor bacon is actually really good
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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