there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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