I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
