my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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