Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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