There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
