onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
