I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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