New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
