This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
