# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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