Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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