end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
