Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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