I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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