Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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