you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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