i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
