whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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