i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
