all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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