Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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