he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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