if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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