NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
