no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
