Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize