If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
that's an acceptable place to lick
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
