Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
FUCK WHALES
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
