Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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