so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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